Donald J. Trump's Last Speech

BREAKING NEWS:

22 August 2016, by Haltern A. Teevax

Republican nominee Donald J. Trump delivered his final speech in New York City yesterday evening before tragedy struck just outside the parking garage of the venue.   

In his closing remarks, he expressed gratitude to President Obama. "To all of you in the Dishonest Media who said, 'He's not presidential,' or 'He can't work across the aisle,' well, you can all suck it, because this evening, my good friend, Barack Obama, is taking me hunting.  That's right, tonight I am participating in the traditional President's hunting trip.  And before the Dishonest Media gets started, let me tell you that I will not come back empty handed.  No.  Tonight, I'm going to bring home a trophy.  That's right.  And you know what?  By the time the taxidermist finishes it, you know where I'm going to put it?  I'm going to hang it right there in the oval office!"  The crowd cheered wildly before Mr. Trump continued, "And make no mistakes about it, Folks -- and nothing against my good friend Barry here -- but I'm gonna bag the biggest snipe that any President ever caught in all history.  My snipe is going to be so big.  It's going to be huge; believe me.  The bigliest.  I tell you that right now.  Well, with that, we have to get going on that Presidential hunting trip."

The administration has not provided any information about where the hunt was to take place, stating that such details were "top secret."  Hunting experts have described the snipe as a nocturnal ground mammal with deeply-colored red skin that imparts a pink sheen to its thin, white fur.

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Republican Nominee Donald J. Trump delivered his last speech in New York City.  (Photo Credit:  NewRepublic.com).